A Fallen Soldier...

 {Photo by PFC Samuel Alicea - 7/31/10}

This morning, a fighter, my father's "twin" brother lost his battle with liver cancer. He was a soldier in the sense that this was his 2nd battle with cancer. Many years ago he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which was removed. End of last year or beginning of this year is when we found out his cancer had returned but this time spread to his liver. At that time, he wasn't given much time to live. His options were an aggressive chemo or let nature take its course. Without hesitating, he said he wanted to fight this and do whatever it took to have more time.

Immediately after his diagnosis, they started the aggressive form of chemo. A short time later, he went into remission, giving him what he wanted which was time. I did not get to see him while he was on chemo but from what I heard from my parents, he didn't look well at all, which obviously was expected. But when he went into remission he looked great. He looked better than he has in a while, as you can see in the above picture. Not too long after the picture was taken, we found out the cancer had returned.

Late last week, he was admitted into the hospital because his potassium levels were dangerously low which could cause all sorts of other unexpected problems but by Monday he was released. I believe at that time, a CT scan was taken of his liver area but the results were not released until the weekend. Saturday, he was starting to have some complications which landed him back in the hospital where they dosed him with morphine for the pain. That is when we learned that his cancer had spread and was now irreversible. When I visited him on Saturday, he was still pretty alert but would fall asleep on and off from the meds. One thing that was hard to see and hear was his breathing. There was fluid in his lungs that sounded kind of like someone sipping from a straw when the cup was nearly empty. Besides his breathing, his eyes were yellow, his feet were swollen and his stomach was extended all signs pointing to a failing liver. Come Sunday is when I was notified that he was going to be released to a local hospice.

Sometime either Sunday night or Monday morning is when he took a turn for the worse. His organs were starting to fail and his kidneys were only working at 20%. At his request, the nurses gave him the stronger meds to let him sleep so he didn't feel any pain. I just knew I had to see him just in case it was his last time. My hubby, my baby and I met up with my family to say what was our final good byes. Because of the medicine he was "asleep" but surprisingly he was able to hear us. He responded by slightly moving his thumb when my aunt was holding his hand and asking him questions. It was comforting to know he was still there.

I watched as he struggled for every breath he took with the sound of the fluid gurgling in his lungs. At times his breathing started to slow down and a few times he either let out a sound or he sounded like he was trying to catch his breath. Because we didn't know what we were seeing, we needed to the nurse to explain. Essentially what we were seeing was his decline. At that point, all I was praying for was for him to stay alive long enough for his 3 eldest children from Puerto Rico to arrive. They weren't going to arrive until about midnight.

We finally left and said our good byes around 9:30pm after being there 3 1/2 hours. Thankfully, his children did get to see him before his passing. According to my Mom, his children had arrived before his passing. After spending some time with him they decided that one of them were going to stay with him while the other two went to get some rest. Luckily, the nurse was there to stop them because at that time he was struggling for his last few breaths. That is when he passed at 1:15am.

Although he is now physically not on earth anymore we know he is looking down on us with my grandmother and my uncle Freddy. As my sister said, he has the best seat in the house. His passing is a huge loss for my family but now we can take comfort in knowing that he is finally no longer suffering.

Tio, because you were a fighter you have inspired us all to be fighters too! Your smile and stories will sorely be missed. An Alicea get together will never be the same. We pray that the Lord blesses your soul during this transition. God Bless and I LOVE YOU very much!